Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
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Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
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wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
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