turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
