Do vagina's smell?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
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fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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