i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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