I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
May the power of my ass compel you!!
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
