I'm really into asian looking animals
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
what day is it and did you see me today?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
