i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
