D3 body, D1 cock
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
