I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize