Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Say something about gay babies.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
