I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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