guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
