what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize