Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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