all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize