after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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