he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
