After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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