our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
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she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
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I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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