I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think weed is turning my hair brown
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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