Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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