So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi