We got so high we made milksteak
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
