I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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