woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
