Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
