Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
