is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
