started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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