How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
