if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
