Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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