i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
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there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
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I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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