New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
