the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
