i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
