is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
false alarm. still invincible.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
