After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
