The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
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