Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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