i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
