I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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