i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone