Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious