I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
no, he came in my armpit
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?