He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
