I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
