Plan B is the new Plan A
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
