yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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