I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
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I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
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Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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