Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
