no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize