i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
