Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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