I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
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