i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
The struggles of a small town man whore
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?