also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw