Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(518): View more from New York

i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.

Fav 5 4177 899
share tweet
(210): View more from Texas

remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity

Fav 20 1185 5431
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(616): View more from Michigan

somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.

Fav 25 3965 2707
share tweet
(734): View more from Michigan

Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.

Fav 35 5928 2612
share tweet
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(970): View more from Colorado

I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.

Fav 3 3014 1111
share tweet
(773): View more from Illinois

literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in

Fav 8 4331 2247
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(804): View more from Virginia

For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor

Fav 5 4764 1140
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(914): View more from New York

Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair

Fav 1 2007 687
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(360): View more from Washington

My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything

Fav 2 365 176
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT