she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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