I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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