You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
