Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
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