I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
